we say no to fear.

I am running.  Running around aimlessly in the dark and I cannot seem to find my way to the Light.  I am trying, sincerely trying, but all I can see is the darkness all around.  Darkness screams.  He screams so loud at me that it is nearly impossible to hear the Lights voice.  I try my best to block the darkness' voice out, but it is as if he is doing his very best to make sure I do not hear the voice of his enemy.  

Then I hear it.  The Lights voice.  He whispers, "Close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?!  But that will only make it darker,"  I say to Him.

Again He whispers, "Close you eyes.  I am here.  Just close your eyes."

I scream at Him, "But You do not understand!!" 

I can feel my pulse heightening as my heart is beating out of my chest.  Why?  I ask myself.  Why is it that I know I can trust The Light but when He beckons me out of my darkness, I am afraid?  Shouldn't what is around me be what is most frightening?  Shouldn't it be what drives me into The Light?

I stop running.  I stand still.  I focus on His voice.

"Beloved, close your eyes,"  He calmly says.

"If you close your eyes, then you surely will not know where you are going," firmly says the voice trying to distract me.

"Focus, beloved.  Focus on my voice.  Close your eyes and trust me."

"It will be useless.  You will close your eyes and you will be surrounded by darkness even more.  You will then become even more lost than you already are."

I silence the voice that got me here in the first place and I close my eyes.

Light.  I see Him.  He calms my heavily beating heart and my pulse begins to slow.  I can hear the worship of the saints and angels all around me.  No, I am not dying.  At least my mortal body is not.  I hear His love crashing over me.  One would think that it would cause me to drown yet it breathes life into my very being.  His voice is so kind.  His Presence is so sweet.  Why I would ever drift out of this is beyond me but whenever He seems to call me to something greater I.......

FEAR.

I fear.

Can you believe it?!  I, a woman after God's heart, fears.  All this time I thought I was fearless.  I thought I had allowed perfect love to cast that out.  And I believe I truly did.  Then I decided I did not want to live an average life so I started to dream big dreams.  Dreams that only can happen with the Lord's mighty hand.  Then that dark weasel let himself in through the back door of my mind because I had forgotten who I was which is what caused that blasted door to be open.  I should get rid of the door, truly.  

All this happened not because I "slipped into sin" or "was not strong enough to resist temptation".  It happened because I forgot who I was.  I forgot that I was an ambassador of the Most High God and from a Kingdom that knows NO end.

I feel called to take you on a journey.  A journey to overcome fear and walk purposefully in the calling of which you were called.  And allow me to say this.  This will not be through a series of blogs, which I truly believe is a great thing to do and there will be series throughout this I am sure, but his will be through me letting you into my life.  Me and my husband's journey through life and what God is calling us into during this next season.

I hope you enjoy this journey.  And I pray that our life will speak volumes to you.  And I declare that it will awaken Love in you.

We say no to fear.

We say yes to Love.

We will go with You,

Where You're leading us.

"You make me brave" - Amanda Cook